


Save Myself

by omgbellamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x07, Bellarke, End of the World, Episode: s04e06 We Will Rise, F/M, Friendship, Goodbyes, Healthy Relationships, Hope, Love, Siblings, black rain, give me shelter, heart to heart, my tiny babies just givin' each other comfort, saving the world shit ya know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 18:37:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10418556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgbellamy/pseuds/omgbellamy
Summary: 4x06 before 4x07 aired. A little take on the 'special' scene where Clarke and Bellamy talk. Basically what I wish they would've said.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! back with another fic for 4x06 because the bellarke killed me and octavia annoyed me once again lol. I hope that you enjoy it. Don't own any of the characters, of course.

They have a moment.

“I have to go to my mom,” Clarke says. If he didn't know any better, Bellamy would say she looked reluctant.

“Be safe,” is all he says. He understands her need to protect her mom. He has the same with Octavia. Even if she hates him, he can't let her go. She's blood, like Clarke said, and he'll protect her until he takes his last breath on Earth.

“You too,” she murmurs. But neither of them make a move. They stand there and stare at each other, as if they're stuck. The thing is, Bellamy doesn't like being away from Clarke. He misses her, he admits to himself. He misses her companionship and her ability to lighten even the darkest moments. Like Jaha said, she centers him and he centers her.

“Clarke,” he says desperately. Her eyes widen a fraction as if she knows this moment is going to change everything. “If I don't see you again...” He never finishes because Clarke being Clarke determined as she is interrupts with, “No, you will.”

He thinks back to over a week ago when she'd said the same thing about him being inside the ship when they left Earth. She'd said the same thing, determined as always, and he was struck by it. Bellamy is intelligent enough; he knows Clarke cares about him. But it still flaws him when she makes declarations like that. Their friendship is one of codependency and intimacy, but he doesn't think he'll ever get used to how vocal Clarke is about her feelings.

He nods at her. There's a million things he wanted to say as the tail-end of that sentence. The weight in his heart is overwhelming and somehow she manages to lift it. She makes him feel lighter, he thinks. She understands him and she's forgiven him and vice versa and what he wants to say is thank you. He wants her to know that.

“But Clarke,” he says. “Thank you.” 

Clarke's head whips back around. Her own eyes are wide now. 

He's thanking her. For what? She wonders. She'd thanked him for keeping him alive, when really there's a hundred other things she'd like to thank him for. But they have the world to save and they don't have time for such indulgences. She's already vulnerable with him. She thinks back to the night when she'd asked him if he had hope and his definitive reply had centered her. Then, he'd put his hand on her shoulder and somehow all of the worries dissipated in her mind. It scares her. The feelings that stir when she's with him terrify her. The way she's open with him and the way he understands her she doesn't think is normal. Even Raven had remarked to Clarke that she thought her Bellamy were 'strangely close'. She'd ignored it then but now it was bringing back unwanted feelings in her mind.

“For understanding,” Bellamy clarifies. His tone is shy and he fails to meet her eyes, but the sincerity of his voice makes her want to smile. “And for saving O's life. I head about what you did from Harper. If it wasn't for you, she'd be dead.”

Clarke ducks her head, afraid that she'll show the colour in her cheeks. Nobody has ever thanked her for saving their life before accept Jasper back in their Dropship days. To think how different things are now. Clarke doesn't expect gratitude. But it's nice to hear it from Bellamy especially, even if she was just doing what she was supposed to as their designated 'healer'. 

“I just did what anyone would do,” Clarke says.

“But you saved her,” Bellamy repeats. “If you hadn't been there, she'd really be dead now.” 

“Well, I'm just glad she's okay.”

Bellamy sighs. 

She's physically okay, but he knows his sister's mental state is dwindling. He understands her anger, but he can't bare their separation any more. He's her brother and he took care of her as a child. He doesn't expect anything now, but he doesn't want them to be at odds. Not now. Not at the end of the world when a second Armageddon, as Bellamy calls it, is hanging over their heads. He misses his happy, care-free butterfly-chasing sister from the beginnings of Earth. But he knows that girl is dead now. She died when Octavia met Lincoln. And he appreciates what Lincoln did for Octavia. He allowed her to find herself, Bellamy thinks. Even if he didn't like her involvement or identification with the Grounders. He understood it. His baby sister, trapped under the floor for sixteen years without having a chance to live. He got why she felt like she belonged with them. But now she wasn't even a part of them. Octavia had been branded Sky Ripper, he'd been told by Kane who'd radioed them a few days ago.

“She'll come around,” Clarke repeats for the third time. He knows she's trying to assure him and he gets it. That's who Clarke is. She likes to be there for people and ease their pain and do what's best for their people, but she can't always change things.

“She'll come around and see how special you are,” She says softly. “I'm sure of it.” she sounds so small but vulnerable and Bellamy can't help but stare at her. 

Bellamy just shrugs.

“She will,” Clarke promises. “And if she doesn't, it's her loss. It's the end of the world. We don't have time to be fighting or holding grudges for things that are out of our hands. Octavia is just hurting right now.”

“We don't,” he agrees. 

Clarke sighs. They both stare at each other for a second, before Roan intrudes with, “Time to go.”

Clarke looks at him then back to Bellamy. Her blue eyes are alert but filled with what Bellamy thinks might be reluctance. “I'll see you soon,” Clarke says,

“See you soon,” Bellamy says back.

Bellamy waits a moment before pulling Clarke into a bone-crushing hug. She gasps a little and winds her small arms around him doing that thing she does where she presses her face into his neck and nuzzles him. Sometimes Bellamy thinks it means something more. Sometimes he likes to think she does it to cement the difference in their relationship between their other friends. She pulls away then and she says in the quietest voice, “May we meet again.”

Bellamy, heading back to the rover echoes the words as he watches Clarke's retreating figure head off with Roan.

“May we meet again.”


End file.
